If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
