i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
