dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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