I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
