Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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