Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
