It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
