Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize