I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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