I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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