Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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