So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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