Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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