ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
