I'm eating all of the evidence.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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