I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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