So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Be still, my beating vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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