Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
