Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
