Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
