But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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