I'm eating all of the evidence.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
