My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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