I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize