just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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