I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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