i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
