Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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