I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
