I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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