She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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