I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
