what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
