I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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