In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
