matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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