I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
