I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
