he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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