well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
