And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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