the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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