I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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