Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
