So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
