he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
