I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
there is puke in my bra ... again
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