Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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