Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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