She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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