I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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