I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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