Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
